Publications
Just for Me: Supplement to Insight for the Newly Diagnosed, Fall 2008
In this special section focusing on your life in the first two years after a diagnosis of early breast cancer, hear what other women are saying about the best ways to get through initial treatment, read the story of Isabel Romero's treatment and recovery while stationed in Germany and learn ten tips on getting good support.
Table of Contents
Letters, We Want Letters!
Dear Friends:
We hope you enjoyed our first issue of Just for Me. This time we’ll introduce you to some of our programs, share a top 10 list from our Guide for the Newly Diagnosed and hear from Isabel Romero, diagnosed two years ago while living and working in Germany.
We want to hear from you! To get the ball rolling, we’ll ask you a question in each issue. This issue’s question: What’s the most creative way someone has shown support for you? Send your answers and comments, questions or a story you want to share to .
Warmly,
Jean
Our Fall Conference: What’s in it for You?
The first two years after a breast cancer diagnosis are busy ones, filled with learning unfamiliar medical terms, managing unwanted impacts on your body and having your life turned upside down—and right side up again.
No matter where you are in your journey, we have something for you at News You Can Use: Breast Cancer Updates and Insights, our annual fall conference, to be held November 1 in Philadelphia. This full-day event affords opportunities to get the latest information and to make new friends who understand what you are going through.
Our conferences have two general sessions, in the morning and afternoon, when we meet as a group to learn about new medical and quality-of-life research. This year our special closing session focuses on equality in health care.
A highlight of the day is our small workshop sessions, which give you closer access to our speakers. If you recently began treatment, you may want to check out the session on managing side effects, which will cover the impacts of common breast cancer therapies. Our fertility and pregnancy workshop will help you think about your options and provide tips on talking with your doctor.
For those of you in the throes of treatment, consider the sessions on menopausal symptoms, bone health, relationships and intimacy and diet and nutrition. Learn what women are saying and what the professionals can do to help you deal with changes to your lifestyle. In the creative coping and journaling workshop, find out how writing can free you from worrying about other people’s needs.
Many workshops will apply to you, even if you finished treatment already. The session on long-term survivorship will go over how a history of breast cancer impacts your health and life over time and how to cope with fears of recurrence. And our genetics session considers genetic testing and how it could impact you and your family.
If you don’t want to come alone, we encourage you to bring your support people. We have something for them, too! They can go to the session on caregiving and learn how to take care of themselves while they are caring for you.
Thanks to a grant from National Philanthropic Trust, no one needs to miss this special conference. LBBC is offering extensive travel scholarships and fee waivers to those of you with financial need. Visit our scholarship page or call us at (610) 645-4567 to learn more or to register. See you in November!
Tips for the Journey
Here at LBBC we do our best to give you helpful advice, but we know from experience that the best tips come from the experts—you! Over the past several months, you have shared these bits of wisdom:
- Keep a diary of side effects and how you feel in general. It will help you plan when to do things that require more energy.
- There’s nothing like a good support group. Try to find one with folks in your age range.
- A wig sold with a prescription does not incur state sales tax in most states. Remind the salon when you buy.
- During chemotherapy, cut a plain bagel into bite-sized pieces and nibble on them continually to keep nausea at bay.
- Humor is one of your biggest assets. Use it.
- Mark off every day on a calendar so you can visually see the end of treatment coming closer.
- Mint can be very soothing, especially if you feel queasy.
- Communicate with friends via email. You can respond at all sorts of odd hours without waking anyone!
- If your eyes have trouble focusing, listen to books on CD instead of reading.
- Cry when you need to cry, but try to laugh when you can.
What practical tools would you like to share with women recently diagnosed with breast cancer? Let us know, and we might publish your tip on lbbc.org! "Tips to Live By" appear at the bottom of each page. To submit, write to us at .
What Being a Survivor Means to Me
I am a two-year breast cancer survivor. I call myself a survivor because I have faced many challenges in my life and always found a way to survive.
I started out as an 18-year-old single parent, pulling myself out of welfare and into a career with the federal government, working days and going to school at night to get my master’s degree. Without hard work and focus early in my life, I would not have been prepared to face my biggest challenge—a diagnosis of Stage IIA breast cancer in December 2005.
I was home on military leave when I was diagnosed. I could not believe it because just two months earlier I had hiked to the top of the highest mountain in Germany. When I returned to Germany, I put the news aside, partly because I was embarrassed to talk with my male boss. After all, we don’t talk about breasts at work. A friend told me, "Isabel, don’t you think he has a wife and daughters? He knows all about breasts." I replied, "Yes, but these are my breasts."
Finally, I worked up the courage to have the conversation with him. I flew back to the United States for treatment. I expected to be away from work for two weeks.
Those two weeks turned into three months because they found 2.3 centimeters of cancer. My choices for surgery were single or bilateral mastectomy or lumpectomy with radiation. Ultimately, I chose a bilateral mastectomy because I did not want one breast facing south while the other was nice and perky. I have been extremely happy with my decision.
I researched breast cancer on the Internet and set out to learn everything I could. At times it was overwhelming to me, and I had to set limits. My family called with questions, but that was frustrating because I did not have answers. I felt guilty because I was the first in my family to have breast cancer.
After surgery, I thought I was finished. I went to the doctor for my release and to return to Germany and my life. The doctor gave me more bad news.
"Isabel, we think there are cells in your body that we did not get completely, so we recommend chemotherapy," he said.
My life flashed before me, and I began to think about everything I wanted to do. I am not one to put things off, but there was one thing I had not done: I always wanted to own a convertible. So I looked at my daughter and said, "Let’s go car shopping."
During chemotherapy, I lost my hair. Now I had no breasts and no hair. I looked and felt like a man. I felt depressed, but only for an instant, because God spoke to me and said, "Isabel, this is only temporary. Your hair will grow back. You are getting implants. Don’t let this get you down."
God was telling me not to feel sorry for myself. Instead, I had my friend get me a t-shirt that read, "Under Construction." When you go through something like this, you must have a sense of humor.
I prayed and exercised every day, either yoga, walking or bike riding. My goal was to bike Jekyll Island in Georgia after completing my treatments. I had only made portions of the trip before. After my last treatment, a friend and I drove there and biked all around. It felt good, and I felt good.
It was delicate to explain to my grandchildren why grandma suddenly had no hair. I took one granddaughter with me to the hairdresser, and we had our hair cut together. My 6-year-old granddaughter and I got nail treatments the day before my surgery. When I woke up after surgery, the first thing I saw was my polished toenails with flowers on them, and I immediately thought of my granddaughter.
I have counseled many co-workers in Germany who have loved ones going through chemotherapy. They all ask the same thing: "What can I do to help?" I reply, "Don’t feel sorry for us. We need your love, prayers, support and help. But most of all, we just want our life back."
I enjoy helping other survivors who may not know what the next step may be, and I enjoy working with families who want to know more about caregiving. If sharing my story helps just one person, then I am happy.
Want to share your story in our next issue? Write to us at or call Janine at (610) 645-4567.
10 Tips on Getting Good Support
1. Surround yourself with good listeners.
2. Be as open as you can about what you are thinking and feeling. Some people may be afraid to ask.
3. Avoid people who make you feel uncomfortable.
4. Ask other women who had breast cancer about resources that they found helpful.
5. Tell people when you need them to stop "helping" and start listening. Say, "I need you to sit down, look at me and listen to me for a few minutes so I know you’re hearing what I’m saying."
6. Be specific about what you need.
7. Be specific about what you don’t need. If people try to do something for you that you would rather do yourself, let them know. If you want to talk about something other than cancer, let them know.
8. Talk to people who put you at ease—a partner, friend or healthcare provider—and ask for tips on asking for help.
9. If someone starts to tell you stories or give you advice you don’t want to hear, ask the person to stop. Don’t be afraid to be blunt. Say, "Please stop. This is not helpful to me."
10. Call our Survivors’ Helpline at (888) 753-LBBC (5222) and talk to a woman who has breast cancer about how she asked family and friends for help and got support.
Did you find this list helpful? Read more in our Guide for the Newly Diagnosed, from which this list is excerpted. To get your free copy, visit our Marketplace at lbbc.org or call us at (610) 645-4567.
